1.  Attend class sporadically.  If you attend class on a regular
     basis you could be in danger of understanding the course

2.  Spend $50 on the textbook and keep it in the trunk of
     your car.  Reading it could jeopardize your grade.

3.  Sit in the back row of the classroom.  You'll find other
     students there who share many of your goals.  You all
     can chat while the professor is trying to lecture.

4.  Whatever you do, try not to exceed your 30 minute study
      time for tests.  Increasing your test preparation efforts
      could result in a higher grade on the test.

5.  Never see your professor during office hours.  If you don't
     ask any questions about the course material then you won't
     have to worry about emptying this stuff from your head.

6.  Try not to take good lecture notes.  It's best to rely on
     your memory of the course material presented in the last
     six weeks.

7.  Be immature and disruptive in class.  Having the professor
     throw you out of class will be extremely effective in getting
     a crummy grade.

8.  Be sure you stay unmotivated throughout the semester.
     Any deviation from this clever strategy could be dangerous.

9.  Remember, you must procrastinate on every assignment.
     Starting the project early could be a disaster!

10. Continue to blame everyone but yourself for your poor
      grades.  Keeping in touch with reality would not be a good
      thing to do!


1.  Recognize that your high school years are behind you.
     Success in college requires self-discipline and maturity.

2.  Attend class on a regular basis.  Being present for the
     lectures far surpasses attempts to understand the material
     from another student's notes.

3.  Treat your professor and your classmates with respect.
     Mature classroom behavior contributes significantly to
     academic success.

4.  Begin your work on papers and projects well in advance.
     Throwing something together the night before it's due
     just won't cut it!

5.  Sit anywhere in the classroom.  The key is paying attention!

6.  Go see your professor during office hours.  Believe it or
     not, we're here to help you.

7.  Do not assume the professor will bail you out at the end
     of the semester.  That just isn't going to happen.

8.  If you are at all squeamish, don't read this one!  For each
     test you should study anywhere from 4 - 10 hours.
     (I told you this wasn't pretty!)

9.  Take good lecture notes.  Always remember that if the
      professor takes the time to put something on the board
     then you can assume it's important.

10. Set high goals for yourself throughout college.  Take
      pride in your accomplishments and enjoy the rewards
      that will come to you - now and in the future!